Love Hurts But Most Things Do
by NayaShay
Summary: Santana's terrified, a commercial's airing that's going to out her (3x6 of glee) Santana, being herself thinks she has to face it on her own. But her bestfriend Emily Fields can tell something's up and as they both start being honest with each other they realize they may be going through the same thing and both have... strong feelings for each other? Can they deal with the truth?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I've never written a fanfic before so... please review and tell me what you think. All critics are welcome because I'm really a beginner writer so anything is helpful. And also sorry for any spelling and grammar errors. **

**TRIGGER WARNING - self harm**

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**Santana's POV**

"I haven't even told my parents yet!" I screamed as I ran out of the office. I felt the tears running down my cheeks. Shit, they saw me cry. No one is supposed to see me, the queen bitch, cry. But I guess I'm not that person anymore. I'm an outcast. I continued crying as I ran out the door. I didn't know where I was going but I kept running. I cleared my eyes and looked up at where I was. I hadn't gotten far I was just outside the school near the football field. I climbed into the stands and looked up into the sky. I felt my eyes tearing up again as I thought about what was happening… I was being outed by some stupid pizza guy. I couldn't take it any more; I grabbed my bag and pulled out my razor. I brought it to my skin and just as I was about to cut I hear something

"Santana?" I quickly hide the razor behind my back and look down at the field to where I see my best friend, Emily, standing looking up at me. I try to smile as she climbs up and sits beside me.

"San, what's going on?" she asks.

"N-Nothin-" I try to reply but she cuts me off.

"San I'm your best friend, what's going on?"

I suddenly can't control my self; I burst out crying and fall into her arms as she pulls me into a friendly hug. She pats my back trying to comfort me but honestly it doesn't help at all. She then moves her hand and grabs the razor out of my hand.

"Give that back!" I yell as a break apart from her hug. She swiftly brings the razor out of my reach as I try to grab it.

"Just tell me what's wrong, and Santana, I'm not an idiot you wouldn't try to cut yourself for no reason"

"Maybe I felt like it, I actually find it quite fun" I say sarcastically.

"Please tell me San," she says after she rolls her eyes "you can trust me, all I wanna do is help"

I look into her gorgeous pleading eyes but still say nothing. She sighs and looks into my eyes "is this the first time you've done this?" she asks

I realize she won't leave until I tell her so I quietly mumble the word "no."

She doesn't seem that surprised and she decides to keep annoying me "why did you do it before?"

"It was last year…" I mumble.

"When Britt moved?" she asks knowingly before I can even finish my sentence.

I look down "yah, when she left… and then again when she got her new boyfriend" I add harshly.

"You loved her didn't you?" she asks.

I look back into her eyes "yes, I loved her a lot."

"Is that what this is about?"

"Yes, well no…" I say softly still looking into her eyes. I can tell she isn't satisfied with my answer so I sigh and continue. "I was in love with Brittany, for such a long time I tried to hide it but I finally told her and it was perfect… for a month and then she left."

"And what does this have to do with right now?" she asks when I stop talking.

"Well… Britt isn't the only girl I've ever lo-" I look at her to read her reaction, she smiles at me encouragingly but then I stop thinking. All I can do is look at the beautiful girl in front of me, with everything going on I didn't notice how close she was sitting to me, I could smell the mix of chlorine and perfume that always followed her around. I breathed in deeply and looked back into her eyes "Em, I think I'm a lesbian." She looks at me and starts laughing. "I'm serious!" I scream.

"Whoa San calm down, I know your serious and I already knew you where lesbian."

"What?" I ask surprised

"San, I'm your best friend, I kinda figured it out."

"Y-you don't think I'm weird?" I ask

"Course not, you're just as perfect as you always where" she replies, flashing her perfect smile.

"Well most people think its weird," I say biting back tears.

"Like who?" she asks.

"Like that stupid fat pizza guy!" I scream and turn around so that she can't see my tears. "He's making a commercial and its gonna tell everyone that I'm a stupid lesbian and I'll be the outcast of the school. I don't golf, so even the other lesbians wont accept me! You don't understand what it's like to never fit in, Em, I'm telling you it doesn't feel good."

"Santana, it's going to be okay," she says as she puts her hand on my shoulder "I promise."

I turn my head to look at her, not caring that she can see my tears "how do you know?" I ask.

Without answering she just bends down and kisses me on the lips.

Without even thinking I start kissing her back. I've wanted to kiss her lips for the past 6 months and this was amazing. I turned back around so I was facing her. Our mouths clashed onto each other hungrily has the romantic kiss became more rough. Just as she granted my tongue access to the inside of her mouth, the bell rang.

**Emily's POV**

Santana quickly pulled away as she heard the students make there was out to the field. I was disappointed, but I don't blame her. I had known for a while that I was a lesbian. Before I moved here, 2 years ago, I had a girlfriend, kind off. Her name was Maya. We where dating but no one knew, I couldn't come out; my parents would never accept me. I moved here before I had to come out, I hoped that maybe in a new place I would be able to be the normal girl my parents thought I was but that wasn't going to happen. Even before Maya I had a crush on my best friend Ali… but I try not to think about her and now there's Santana. Most people knew she fooled around with Britt all the time but when you're their best friend its obvious how in love they where. This was always hard for me because from the moment I met Santana, I was falling for her.

"You know San, it doesn't matter what those people think," I said to her "I mean who cares, fuck them."

"Wanky" she murmurs to her self, I roll my eyes at her and try not to smile.

"Well I have to get to swim practice," I say. She looks up at me pleadingly. "But I guess I could miss it if you needed me," if I know anything about Santana is that she wont ask for help, but this will prove if she actually likes me.

"I don't know, whatever you want," she says.

"Okay well if you don't need me then I guess I'll go," I say dramatically as I start to leave.

"Wait!" she calls. I turn around right away

"Yes?" I ask her

"I need my razor back, " she says which makes my heart drop. I just look at her still holding the razor.

"Em, I need to shave" she says annoyed

"Hmm" I pretend to think, " I don't think I trust you"

"You don't trust me with my shaver?" she asks annoyed but then I see her eyes light up "I guess you could supervise" she says with a smirk.

My eyes light up "did you just offer to let me watch you take a shower?" I ask half confused half excited.

She just laughs at me, which makes me blush "I bet you'd like that" she says.

I rolled my eyes as she laughed at me. I actually would like to see her in the shower, but she doesn't need to know that. I got up to leave but she reached out to grab my hand.

"Seriously Em, we need to talk" she said as she looked into my eyes.

"Yeah" I replied looking down, "we do."

"How about after your swim practice? Wanna meet at the spot?" she asked.

"Sure" I said smiling as I walked away. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop smiling, I had just kissed Santana Lopez, the hottest person in the world and it seemed like she liked it. This was probably the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, so I just walk to swim practice, grinning like and idiot.

**Santana POV**

I was sitting in a clearing in the woods in front of a small lake. I was reminded of the time Britt and me went skinny-dipping, I really miss her but at least I have Emily. Just as the thought came into my mind I heard footsteps. I looked up and see Emily walking towards me smiling.

"Hey" she says.

I smile at her "hey." We fall into a comfortable silence both of us not knowing what so say but enjoying each other's presence.

"So when is this commercial airing?" she asks as she sits down beside me.

"Tomorrow night" I say leaning my head on her shoulder.

"That guy is a total bitch," she says. I laugh a little at her failed attempt to insult. She looks at me trying to keep a straight face but eventually starts smiling. I smile back at her and next thing we know we're both laughing uncontrollably. We finally stop laughing when I lean in and kiss her. We brake apart after a few seconds and sit there smiling at each other. Emily was the only person that made me feel happy since Britt left and I decided to take a chance on her, I wanted to show her the sweet, innocent and vulnerable Santana, I needed to be that person right now.

"Em," I said looking down at the ground "I'm scared."

"Why?" she asked me.

"Because… Because now everyone is going to know who I am. They're gonna know that I'm different, and I'm gonna be the outcast."

"Then I'll be the outcast with you," she says as she tries to look me in the eyes. I continue looking down as tears start to form in my eyes.

"Santana, you're still the same person you've always been, nothing's changed," she says as grabs my chin so I'm looking into her eyes "I still love you."

I look into her eyes "and that's all I care about" I say as I pull her closer so that our lips meet in a passionate kiss. Right in this moment I don't care about anything, I don't care about my parents, I don't care about what people think of me all I can think about is how amazing it feels to have this girls lips on mine.

**Emily's POV**

I got home about an hour ago and have been lying on my bed since. I was going to come out to my mom, I was scared but I needed to, for Santana. The only problem is I have no idea how to do it. What do you say when you come out? I jumped when I heard a knock on the door I looked up and say my mom standing in the entrance smiling. I wonder if she'd still be smiling if she knew who I really was. My family was simple, try your best, don't try to change things and you'll be accepted. But the moment someone tries to switch the cards a bit, things fall apart.

"Emily," she says "dinner's ready."

"I'm not that hungry," I say as I look down.

"You sure?" she asks.

"Yes," I reply firmly "I just wanna stay in my room."

"Is there something wrong?" she asks.

"No," I reply keeping my eyes on the ground "well there shouldn't…"

I trail off.

"Emily, what's going on?"

"I-I I mean I'm" I look up at her eyes, imaging the look of disgust that will soon fill them. "Fine. I'm fine," I say trying to give my best reassuring smile. She gives me a strange look and then walks out of my room. I sigh then fall back onto my bed, why is this so hard? There's nothing wrong with being gay, why do people care so much? Why does it matter anyways?

This is one of those times when I jut hate my family; we've always been the perfect family. Both my parents had respectable jobs; my mom works at the police office and my dad is a high ranked military officer. I don't see him much; I miss him; right now he's running a training course in Texas. I wonder what he would think if he came home and the first thing he heard is that I was some weirdo gay kid. And obviously there's me; perfect Emily. My grades are good, I was brought up to be kind and I was the schools best swimmer.

My entire life would be so different if they knew who I really was. Just like Santana says, I would be an outcast. I know my parents wouldn't accept me. If they think having pink streaks and being "Goth" is wrong, what will they think about this? I fall asleep with the thoughts of what will happen when I tell my parents, all I can say is I didn't sleep well that night.

**Santana's POV**

"Ladies, I would like to thank you all for your tireless efforts in convincing your parents to vote for me," Sue says as she looks over the group of cheerios sitting on the bleachers in the school gym "and for teaching them what it is, and that it doesn't cost anything. And now your co captain Santana has asked to say a few words and I'd like you all to listen up. Santana."

This was it; I was going to come out. I don't really have a choice but I'm still scared. No, this isn't me. I'm not the kind of girl who runs. I am Santana Diabla Lopez, the hottest bitch at this school, I'm not afraid to be myself. I get up from my seat and walk up to the middle of the gym and face the other cheerios.

"There is a campaign add running for the first time tonight that says that I am gay, now my friends in glee club think that this is something I should be open and upfront about, not for other people but for myself." My heart was beating so fast, and I couldn't control it.

This is easy I could just say that the commercial is a lie, everyone would believe me I'm a good liar. I don't have to deal with this… but I guess I do. I can't keep hiding from the truth this is who I am. "It's no secret that Brittany and I where together last year. At first I thought that it was a phase, you know? Just a fun thing that would eventually go away," I say with a smile remembering all the nights Britt and me spent fooling around, but I couldn't think about the past I needed to think of the future, I needed to think about what I was doing right now. "But I guess what I've realized is" I breath in "that I am gay." I didn't wait for people's reactions I didn't wanna see them I just continued "It's who I am and if you don't like it then that's fine, feel free to tell me but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a natural born leader and, I'm not afraid to cut a bitch" I say with a smile as I return to my seat.

Now from here things can go anything from okay to deadly. I hear some applause, why the hell am I getting applause for telling people who I am. If I walked up there and said "guys there's something I need to tell you, I'm straight" no one would give a damn, why is this such a big deal. Oh wait, because the world is full of morons. One of the cheerios even admits to have made out with I girl before.

"Thank you Santana, that was very brave" Sue says as she stands back up "Now by my reckoning every student at this school who could possibly come out has come out so congratulations, the long national nightmare of students coming out is over."

I smile as the bell rings; maybe everything will be okay after all.

**Emily's POV**

I was at my locker pretending to be busy but really just waiting for Cheerios practice to end so that I could see Santana. She told me about her plan to come out and I had reassured her that everything would go fine. I had told her that if these people didn't accept her for who she is then they aren't worth changing for. I had told her that she was perfect and it doesn't matter what a few cheerleaders thought. Why was this so easy to tell someone else, but so hard to listen to myself?

A smile spreads across my face as I see Santana walking towards me. She's smiling, that's good. Maybe everything went well. What am I talking about? Of course it went well, there's nothing wrong with being gay.

"So?" I ask her when she gets close enough.

"I did it Em," she replies. "I came out, I told them I was gay and it didn't even seem like they cared!"

"Wow San, that's amazing. I'm so proud of you!" I exclaim as I lean in to kiss her. But just before our lips meet something cold runs onto my face. I open my eyes and realize it wasn't me who got hit it was Santana. Her entire face was covered in a slimly, cold, blue slushie.

"Next time I'll get the entire football team. We can all use different color slushies to make a rainbow. We all know how much you love rainbows, isn't that right lesbo?" one of jocks who slushied her called as he walks off laughing. I want to run after him and slap him, but I know that will only make things worse. I look back at Santana and see the slushie has started dripping down her shirt. Her eyes where closed and I could tell they where stinging. Santana wasn't used to getting slushied, she was the most popular girl in school. On any other day she would have run up to him and punched him in the face but this was different.

"C'mon Santana," I say as I lead her into the washroom "lets go get you cleaned up."

She followed me quietly into the girl's washroom and sits down beside the sink. I ran some warm water over a paper towel and made my way over to Santana. It was only then I noticed she was crying.

"San, are you okay?" I ask "sorry, stupid question, of course your not okay. San, it doesn't matter what they think."

"I just… its just…. The slushie stings, that's all," she says.

"San, it's going to be okay, that guy probably just had a crush on you and was mad that he doesn't have a chance with you."

"Well he wouldn't stand a chance either way," Santana adds bitterly.

"Look San," I say as I start to rub the icy liquid of her face "I know its going to be hard at first but you just need to remember that you're stronger then them and it doesn't matter what they think."

"Oh really?" she asks, "Is that why you've came out? Because everything is so easy and it doesn't matter what other people think. We all know how proud YOU are to be gay."

"I-I, San-" I try to explain but she cuts me off.

"Why is it so easy for you to tell other people what to do, but the second its your turn you back out. How can I listen to you when you haven't even came out yourself?" she asks harshly.

"I-I… You're right San" I say as I look down, "I'm a coward. You deserve to be with someone who is proud of whom she is. You deserve to be with Brittany. " I don't know why I'm bringing up Brittany, but I don't know I guess I've always kind off been in Brittany's shadow. How can I compare to Santana's first love? Well I know that Santana's right it just hurts to hear it.

"I'm sorry Em, I just… that was Snix," she says "I want to be with you, but I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I wish you knew how perfect you where, I wish you knew that you didn't have to hide who you are."

"No, I should be the one apologizing," I say "you're right" and before I can say another word she leans in and kisses me. Her lips taste like slushie and then I'm reminded of what we where supposed to be doing. But you can't break away from a kiss with Santana Lopez. It's just impossible.

**Santana's POV**

"Thanks," I said as Emily wiped away the last bit of slushie from my hair. Even though she was done I didn't want her to stop. Her soft gentle hands felt so good running through my hair. "You're very good at that."

"Well I've had some practice," she says looking down.

"That's happened to you?" I asked. I couldn't imagine something like that happening to sweet Emily. Everyone loved her; she was gorgeous, nice, athletic and almost as popular as me.

"Well when I first moved here, I didn't really have any friends, I was the new girl; an easy target."

"Oh my gosh Em, I'm so sorry!" I had no idea Emily was bullied when she first got here.

"Its okay, it was only the first few months. Then I became friends with you," she adds with a smile.

"And now what are we? I ask and before she answers I cut her off "wait." I get down on one knee and take her hand. "Emily Fields, will you be my girlfriend?" yes, I know its cheesy and pathetic but there's something about her that just makes me not care. When I'm with her all I want to do is jump into her arms and kiss her, I don't care what other people think about me. I just wish she felt the same way…

"Yes Santana, I'll be your girlfriend!" she exclaims.

"Are you sure Em?" I ask "I could never make you uncomfortable, this would change everything. I could never cause you pain."

"Santana," she says as I stand up to look the taller girl in the eyes "I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to be your girlfriend and I don't care what happens next as long as at the end of the day I can say that the beautiful girl in front of me is my girlfriend."

I start smiling and I feel I tear roll down my cheek.

"San, are you crying?" she asks.

"I'm just really happy," I say as I lean in and kiss her on the lips. She kisses me back and I wrap my arms around her. She moans quietly as I reach my hands down to feel her ass. I'm clearly the one in control so I push her into the wall and start kissing her more roughly. Her hands are wrapped around my neck as her fingers run threw my long dark hair. She seems to be enjoying it so I move my hands up to cup her breasts. She gasp a little but doesn't show any sign that I should stop, instead she starts sucking my bottom lip. I push her lips apart as I dart my tongue into her mouth. She then quickly pulls away.

"San," she says as she gestured towards the door. I look into the doorway, which was wide open, very smart of me, and I see Jacob Ben Israel standing there with his mouth wide open and a camera in his hands.

"That was so hot," he mumbles breathlessly.

"I swear if you put those pictures on your stupid blog…" I'm about to go all Lima heights on his sorry ass but Emily's hand reaches out and grabs mine.

"San, its okay," Emily says, "I don't wanna hide anymore. I want everyone in the school to know that you're my girlfriend."

"You sure?" I ask, "Because I could easily beat the living crap out of him."

"No San, its fine. I'm your girlfriend now and I don't care who knows it."

"Good," I reply with a smile "because I'm sure those pics are totally hot."

She rolls her eyes at me, which makes me laugh.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you too," I reply.


	2. Chapter 2

**Emily's POV**

I was staring at the food in front of me, moving it around with my fork. Dinners at my house where always really quite considering it was just me and my mom. At first she tried asking me questions about my day, but I wasn't really into it. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the bathroom. Everything about Santana was just to perfect. She was smart, she could stick up for herself, she was confident but she could also be the sweetest person alive and not to mention that she is the definition of sexy.

"Did you see the commercial about your friend?" my mom asks. I suddenly look up from my food.

"What?" I ask, snapping out of my daze.

"The one about your friend Santana saying she was gay," her tone becomes harsh as she says the last word.

"Oh yeah..." I say looking down. Now this was beyond awkward.

"You know I always knew there was something wrong with that girl."

"What's wrong with her?" I ask annoyed at what she just said.

"Emily, its not natural to be attracted to someone of the same gender."

"That's not true!" I snap, "its perfectly normal!"

She looks at me concerned. "Emily I think you've been spending to much time with her, this is not how we raised you."

I'm horrified by what she's saying. "Don't worry mom, she's not my friend any more," I look up into my mothers eyes. How can someone who is disgusted of who I a, be my mother. I breathe in "she's my girlfriend."

"What?" she asks me while she processes what I just said.

"That's right mom, I'm gay and I'm dating Santana Lopez," I know I should be scared but I'm actually more angry then anything else.

"Emily, watch what your saying. This isn't you, we raised you better," my mother says. That's the worst part she doesn't even believe me.

"No mom, this is who I am and I'm trying to tell you. I want you to be able to know me, the real me."

"Emily, this is just a phase you're going through. This isn't normal. I don't want you seeing Santana anymore; she's the person who caused this. She's changing you, manipulating you. Santana is a slut. She will tell anybody anything just to sleep with them. Emily, she's a horny slut and she's using you."

"Mom!" I scream at her "that is my girlfriend and you're not allowed to talk about her like that!" I can't believe she just said that, I have never been so angry with her.

She gets up from her chair "how dare you call that girl you're girlfriend!"

I get up also and look at her harshly "I call her my girlfriend because she is, and I love her!"

"Emily, I'm not the bad guy here. That girl has probably slept with half the people in the school and she wants you to think she loves you!"

"She does love me!" I scream, how can she be saying this?

"Now did she tell you that before or after she fucked you?"

"I have never even slept with her! This isn't like that! We love each other!" I have never heard my mom swear before she is normally so clam.

She walks over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder, which I quickly shake off. "Emily, I know this is all confusing but I guarantee you, you don't love her. It is unnatural for two girls to love each other, its impossible. It isn't right and it's a disgusting lifestyle."

"Then I guess I'll go on living I disgusting lifestyle because I'm not braking up with Santana! She's the only person who's made me happy since we left Rosewood and I'm never leaving her!" I say as I bite back tears.

"Is that what this is about?" she asks, " You're still not over that we made you move and this is your way of punishing us?"

"No!" I yell.

"Well it must have something to do with that because I cant think of any other reason for you to act like this."

"Maybe" I say "Its just who I am!"

"Okay Emily, you know what?" she asks, "we are moving back to Rosewood, I wont have my daughter running around acting like a lesbian!"

"I am not you're daughter!" I yell at her.

"That's it!" she screams "Emily, go to your room!"

I don't need to be asked twice, all I want to do right now is get away from my "mother."

"Wait!" she calls, "give me your phone." I ignore her and continue walking. "Emily Fields give me your phone!" the tears where starting to fall down my face and I couldn't let her see them, so I pull the phone out of my pocket and give it to her. I accidently turn it on and my mom sees my background picture. It's a picture of Santana and I sitting beside each other and smiling. My mom is so pissed off that she throws the phone across the room, it lands on the floor and smashes to pieces. I can't help myself anymore, the tears are streaming down my face so I just run upstairs and slam the door.

**Santana's POV**

I sat at the back of the choir room listening to Berry screech threw another one of her solos. I couldn't concentrate on anything. This was the second day in a row that Emily hasn't been at school. I had called her and left her a million text messages but she wasn't answering. Damn, why is it so hot? Oh maybe because I was wearing pants and a sweater in the middle of May. I normally loved the perverted short cheerios uniform but today I just wasn't feeling so sexy. Plus coach Sue got really mad when we got our uniform dirty and I have gotten 3 slushie facials in the past 2 days. I know Emily said it would get better but without her here to tell me it just feels like its then entire world against me.

"Santana?" I hear. I look up and see everyone looking at me.

"Huh? What?" I ask as I snap out of my daze.

"Do you wanna take us home?" Mr. Schue asks.

"Last song of the day, wanna sing it?" Finn ads noticing the blank look on my face.

"Whoa San's outta it, dreaming about Em?" Puck asks. I roll my eyes at him. Now these people may be the most annoying human beings to ever walk this earth but at least they accept me, which is really the only thing I need right now.

"No thanks, I don't really have anything prepared," I say, "plus the stress of following Berry is just way to much," I say sarcastically, which gains a few snickers from the other glee club members.

"Okay then," Mr. Schue says, "then I guess you guys are free to go."

Everyone starts spilling out of the room. I wanted to go home, ever since Emily formally agreed to be my girlfriend I had been thinking of places to take her for our first real date. I wanted it to be perfect.

"Santana!" I hear Rachel call from behind me.

I turn around to face the shorter girl "can I help you?" I ask annoyed.

"Oh, well I was wondering if you wanted me to help you with your singing," she says.

"And why the hell would I want that?" I ask.

"Well I noticed that you didn't seem to wanna sing today and I being very talented and a good friend would like to help."

"Or maybe I just didn't have anything prepared," I say "and either way there is no way I would voluntarily spend more time with you."

"I'm just trying to help," she says looking down "you could learn a lot from me."

"Berry, I'm just as good as you, the only difference is that I don't hog all the solos now leave me alone!" I say as I storm off. For some reason she seems even more annoying then usual. Everyone was more annoying then usual. Its only now I realize I don't have very many friends. I spent most of my time with Emily and now that she's gone, I don't know what to do.

**Emily's POV**

"Emi-" my mom calls from my doorway.

"Leave me alone!" I snap at her, cutting her off.

"I just wanted to le-" she tries again.

"I said leave me alone," I say it louder this time.

"How dare you use that tone of voice with your mother!" she says as she glares at me.

"You are not my mother. Mothers are supposed to love their daughters," I say matching her glare with my eyes.

"Emily, I do love you," her tone softens, "I love the old Emily, the real Emily. This place is changing you."

"Oh right, that's why you're ruining my life!" I scream at her.

"I'm just tying to help you, I want you to get out of this disgusting lifestyle and I believe keeping you away from Santana and moving back to Rosewood will help."

"Well you're wrong!"

"Emily, you're young, you don't understand. This is not you and I'm just trying to help."

"I hate you," I murmur as she walks out the door.

I look around the room. In two days my mother has managed to arrange a move back to our old town and pack half the stuff in our house. I have been stuck in my room the entire time, my mom wont let me leave the house because she knows ill go see Santana. I am disgusted at my mother, in two days I'm moving back to Rosewood and I wont even have the chance to say goodbye to Santana. I miss Santana so much; I never noticed how much time I spent with her. I sigh and pull out a small box from beneath my bed.

I opened the lid and smiled at what was inside. Right after the fight with my mother the other night I had gathered all the things in my room with Santana on them and put them in this box. I knew my mother would throw them away if she found them and I couldn't let her do that. I spread the content across my bed. I look into the smiling eyes of the picture and cant help but smile myself. I stop at a picture of both of us smiling, her head is on my shoulder and there' s a lake in the background.

I remember when we took this picture; we had both ran up to each other after school with huge smiles on our faces. We both had big news and decided to meet in the spot.

_I look up as I saw heard Santana making her way towards me._

_"You go first," I say to her._

_"Okay, I'm cheerio co-captain!" she says beaming. _

_"San, that's amazing!" I exclaim "I don't understand why your co-captain though, no ones as good as you."_

_She smiles at me "okay, you're turn."_

_"I'm swim captain!" I exclaim. _

_"Em, I'm so proud of you!" she says as she leans in but before our lips meet the kiss turns into an awkward hug. We brake apart and smile at each other, both knowing that we did indeed almost kiss but not wanting to mention it. _

_"Lets take a picture!" she suggests. _

_"Okay!" I smile as she gets out her phone. She leans her head on my shoulder and we both smile at the camera. _

_"Aww, we look cute," she says as she looks at the picture on her phone. _

_"You're right we do," I say as I look at the picture. _

I turn the photo over. "To the best senior year ever! Love, San." I sigh as I read the line over and over again. This was definitely not the year she had imagined while writing that. I imagine how perfect it would be if my mother understood me, now that's the year Santana had imagined.

**Santana's POV**

"Where's your girlfriend Lesbo?" I hear someone call.

"Did she leave you to have a normal relationship?" Another person joins in.

This was the 3rd day in a row that Emily hasn't been at school. I was making my way to the bathroom with a new shirt to change into. Yes that's right, the amazingly popular Santana Lopez got slushied again. I didn't care though; I knew everything would be better when Emily came back to school. She's the only reason I've stayed strong. How would she feel if she came back to school and found out that I had cut myself again, or worse, killed myself? That doesn't mean I hadn't thought about it, but I knew I couldn't. I was staying strong, for Emily.

I had started eating alone, normally in one of the washroom stalls. Anything was better then the crowded cafeteria. Yes, the bullying had gotten a lot worse. It used to only be the jocks; they would slushie me or call me names but now it's everyone. I got into the bathroom went into a stall at the back and changed out of my wet shirt. I pulled on a new one and quickly tried to wash some of the slushie out of my hair. I sigh and walk back out. I don't understand what's gotten into me, on any other day I would be the crap out of anyone who even made fun of me, but I guess I'm just scared.

I walked out of the school, it was a Friday and I was going straight to Emily's house. As I walk through the parking lot someone shoves me from behind. I fall onto my knees. I try to turn around but before I can I'm thrown face first into the pavement. I try to get up again and this time I see I'm surrounded by a group of 5 or 6 jocks. I try to run through them but they just bounce me back into the center of the circle.

"Oh no, we aren't done with you, lesbo" one of them says.

I feel someone kick me from behind and I fall again onto my knees. As they move closer I can smell the alcohol on their breath, they're all drunk. Someone kicks me on the side of my stomach and I fall to the ground. The pain of my head landing on the ground is nothing compared to the punch that hits my back seconds later. I gasp and dirt suddenly fills my mouth as my head is pushed once again into the ground. I try to move, but my motions stop as I feel someone's foot slam into the back on my thigh. One of the guys roughly pushes me over so that I'm in my front looking up at my attackers. My vision is blurred as I feel another punch across my face. I feel the warm blood start to drip from my nose.

"Please stop," I manage to say in between breaths.

They all start laughing at me and my request is denied as someone's foot jabs into my stomach. I can't breath, all I can do is lie there as more kicks and punches are thrown at me.

"Please," I beg. Another punch. "I'll." Another punch. "Do." Another punch. "Anything," I cough out.

"Anything?" one of the guys asks laughing. "All we want is for you to be normal."

"Why don't we show her what happens when she's normal?" one of the guys suggests and before I can do anything I'm being lifted onto one of the cars. One of the guys slams my head into the hood of the car.

"You know what I've always wanted to do?" one of the guys asks.

"What?" they all answer excitedly.

"I've always wanted to suck her nipple!" he replies and they all burst out laughing.

"Go ahead!" one of the other guys yells.

My hands are pinned down and before I can do anything the guy who declared that he wanted to suck my nipple was sitting on top of me, straddling me. All of his friends watch eagerly as he rips my shirt off. There I am, lying on a stranger's car in my bright red push up bra. The drunken boys squirm with excitement at the sight in front of them. The guy on top of me moves his fat hand down and starts squeezing my breast. I scream in pain at how hard he's pushing at that only makes him push harder.

"Lick it! Lick it!" the other boys start chanting and as if this is his signal the boy pushes the fabric of my bra away revealing my nipple. Without a second of hesitant he bends down and takes my nipple in his mouth. All the other boys start cheering.

"My turn!" one of the surrounding boys yells as he bends down and takes my other nipple in his mouth. Both boys start biting as cries of pain escape my mouth. With a burst of strength I manage to free my hands and I push both of the guy off of my boobs. I jump down from the car and stand looking at the boys.

"Stay away from me!" I scream. The boys are all taken aback by my sudden burst of energy. "That's right," I say, "See here's what's gonna go down. Two choices: you guys stay here and I crack your nuts, right or left, that's your choice, or you walk away and live to be douchebags another day."

The guys reluctantly start walking away.

"She's totally useless" one of the guys says.

"Worthless," another guy adds.

"She wouldn't even cooperate," the guy who was on me adds.

"Next time we'll make her."

"There shouldn't even be a next time, if she was smart she would just kill herself."

"Yeah, the world is better without her," another guy agrees.

"Stupid lesbian."

"And if she does come back, we'll make her wish she was dead," and that's the last thing I hear before the boys get to far and I collapse onto the ground, my injured legs not being able to carry the rest of my injured body.

**Emily's POV**

"I'm not leaving!" I scream at my mother. We where supposed to have left 2 hours ago but I refused to leave my room.

"Emily, stop this nonsense and get into the car!" she screams back. She had stopped with the nice calm voice about an hour and a half ago and its only gotten worse from there.

"I am not leaving and you can't make me!" I sounded like a little kid who didn't want to leave a toy store, but this was my life I was leaving behind not some Barbie dream house.

"Emily, I will get the guys to carry you to the car, we are moving and there is nothing you can do about it!" I couldn't let that happen, I needed a plan and I needed one fast.

"No, its okay mom," I say, "you're right, you're only trying to help and I'm acting like a child."

"I'm only trying to help," she repasts in a calm voice, thinking I finally understand.

"Okay," I say trying to give my best smile "lets go home," I say as I start walking down the stairs.

"Em," my mom says, I turn around and look at her "I'm proud of you, you're making the right decision."

"I'm going with my heart," and with that I run down the stairs and out the door. I could hear my mother screaming at me but I didn't care, I needed to see Santana. I thought of all the punishments she could give me, but what's worse then being kept away from your true love? Santana's house was far, but I didn't care. I would walk across the universe for one last chance to her perfect face.

**Santana's POV**

I open my eyes, I see the ground, and I see blood. It takes me awhile to remember what happened, my entire body aches. I groan in pain as I try to lift myself into a sitting position, I lean on a car for support. I roll up my bloody sweat pants to reveal my bruised and scraped legs. I sudden gust of wind across my bare skin, reminds me of how little clothing I'm wearing. What the hell am I supposed to do now? All I'm wearing is my bra and my shirt is completely torn. I notice my phone is lying a few feet away; it must have fallen out of my pocket when I was… attacked. I manage to crawl to it and I turn it on. 5:53pm. I've been passed out for almost 2 hours. I sigh as I put the phone back in my pocket. I need to see Emily.

Emily's house is a 10-minute walk from the school, I don't know if I'll be able to make it but I have to try. I wrap my ripped shirt around my chest in a lame attempt to clothe myself. I scream in pain as I get up, the pressure on my legs being way too much. Every step I take I feel like I am in the worst pain possible, but then the next one is even worse. I wonder what Emily will say when she sees me like this. I wonder if she will still want to be with me. No, she will want to be with me. She was probably just sick and I don't know she lost her phone. She would come back to school on Monday and we will be the cutest, hottest it couple ever. Right?

After walking for what feels like forever I finally see her house in the distance. Luckily, my entire body has become numb. It feels like I'm floating through needles. I stop suddenly when I notice a truck outside her house; it was a moving truck. Emily was moving, she was leaving and I would never see her again. Once again I would be alone. I can't think; I need to get away. I start running. I feel the pain in my body but it somehow comforts me. This is all about control; I can't control the pain inside of me so I focus on the physical pain. My vision starts to blur and I lose track of time, but I keep running.

Next thing I know I'm on the ground. My body is aching. I look up; familiar trees surround me as millions of memories come back to me. This place used to be the happiest place on earth. I would come here and do whatever I want with whomever I wanted. But now all I can think about is how that's not possible anymore. Everyone I love leaves me. I am completely alone.

Right now I could easily kill myself, I don't understand the point of living when all life is, is pain. Why shouldn't I? I have no reason to live, nobody to love, nobody who loves me. Actually, I just have a bunch of people who hate me. If I come back to school on Monday I might as well be dead. What if the gang of boys come back? They said they would, I remember what it felt like to lie there hopelessly as they beat me. Right now it's the exact feeling except it's myself I'm afraid of. I hate myself. The world would be better without me. I don't belong here, ill never fit in. I have no reason to live. I want to die.

I slowly get up. I walk over to one of the trees. There's a small hole at the bottom and I stick my hand down into it. I pull out a small jar full of white pills. The answer to all my problems is sitting in this jar. I walk up to the lake and sit down. I open the bottle slowly. Both my hands are shaking as I poor the tiny pills into my hand. It was so simple, swallow the pills and jump in the lake. It was so simple yet it could make all my problems go away.

I put the first pill into my mouth. It sits there for a few seconds but finally I swallow it. I start to feel a little drowsy but I cant stop. I swallow four more pills, one by one. I can't think. All I want to do is sleep. I just want to lie down; my legs feel like they're going to collapse and I can't feel the rest of my body. My vision is foggy. All I need to do now is jump, one small jump and everything is over. All the pain is gone.

**Emily's POV**

I was so scared. I had gotten to Santana's house and her mother had told me that she hadn't came home from school. The worst part is that her mother didn't even seem concerned. I decided the first place I should check was the spot. I had run here and was just entering the forest now. I start to get a nagging feeling in my stomach as I near the clearing. I sudden burst oh hope fills me as I see a familiar black ponytail moving in the distance.

"Santana!" I call, but not even a second after I finish my sentence I see her jump into the lake. What the hell is she doing? I run up to the lake and look for her emerging figure. My heart stops as my eyes find a small container on the ground where Santana had jumped. I bend down and pick it up. I gasp when I read the label: sleeping pills. My entire body stops moving as realize what's going on. Next thing I know I feel the cold water hitting my face.

Oh my god, where is she? My eyes strain to see anything in the cold dirty lake. I blindly feel around and I finally feel her arm. Before I can do anything my body forces me to return to the surface to get some air. I breath in then dive back into the water. I grab Santana's arm and pull it over my shoulder. I push off from the bottom of the lake. With the weight of Santana dragging me down, I barely get a foot of the ground. I start kicking. Lucky for me I'm a trained swimmer, I don't know what would happen if I weren't. Well actually I do know; Santana would die. My lunges are begging for air but I can't let Santana go. I need to save the person I love.

I breathe in heavily as I finally reach the surface. I move to where the water is shallow and manage to roll Santana onto the land. It's only then that I realize all the scars and bruises on her body; did she do this to herself? I lie my head down on her perfect breasts and try to tell if she's breathing. I think she is but I can't say for sure. I start panicking again. I reach into my pocket but then I remember that I don't have a phone. I look around for Santana's phone but I don't see it. All I can do his hopelessly scream.

"Hello? Anyone? Please someone, help me!"

**Pam (Emily's Mom) POV**

"Excuse me sir," I ask someone "have you seen my daughter?" I ask showing him a picture of Emily.

"Sorry mam, haven't seen her" the guy responds after briefly looking at the picture. I walk away without saying thank you. I had been looking for Emily for the past hour and I was starting to get worried. I bet she's with Santana, I cant imagine all the wrong disgusting things they are doing right now. I wish Emily would understand how wrong it is, but she's young and easily corruptible. An ambulance drives by and a police officer jumps out the back. I don't know what the chances are that he's seen her but I walk up to him anyways.

"Excuse me officer, have you seen this girl?" I show him the picture.

His face suddenly turns dark. "Do you know her?" he asks.

"Of course I know her" I respond "Emily Fields, she my daughter."

"Well I'm sorry to tell you this but Emily was just in that ambulance, there was an attempted suicide near the lake around…." I don't hear him finish; I'm already running. He calls after me but I ignore him. I knew this was hard on her but I never imagined she would try to kill herself. This is all my fault, if my sweet perfect daughter dies, then its all my fault.


End file.
